this is a fucking mess

I sit here
and stare at the walls from my childhood
oh the colors they have been
peach
purple
now green and teal
I think about how I need to clean
I think about the office this room was long ago
I think about going to school somewhere that I know no one.
I think about my feet in the sand, cold air whipping my face.
I think about the city and the subway.
I think about down comforters, scarves, and fumbling hands.
I think about everything that I have set in front of me, and I want to scream,
just claw my skin.

I just want to be done with school so that I can do everything I dream of.

Life is throwing me curveballs,
I wish I had better hand eye coordination so I could bat them out of the park.